Sunday, June 04, 2006

Lesson Learned

I slept a little late today. Big mistake! Huge! McDreamy woke me up at 8 a.m. We were to be at Sunday School Class at 9, and keep in mind it takes roughly 15 to 20 minutes to get there. He was thinking there was no way we would make it, but we did.

I knew that I did not have time to shower so I used a little extra deodorant. You can't tell me you've never done that before! I got dressed, threw my hair up in a clip and away we went. I looked smashing! Or so I thought. On our way to town I discovered a huge stain on my shirt that covered my right breast. A solid white sweater tank with a big grayish-brown stain. I thought I would be okay because I was wearing another shirt over it and I would just remember to keep it covered. No big deal!

Trying not to think about my stained shirt, I started to lotion up. I often do that in the car while McDreamy drives. Time management, you know. As I smeared the lotion up my shin, I thought about the whole hairy leg situation. Hairy legs, capris, and sandals do not blend well. By this time I am thinking we just need to turn around and go home.

Now, I say that it takes roughly 15 to 20 minutes to get to church but sometimes it can take longer. Today it took longer. We didn't beat the train. This area has more train tracks than I have ever seen anywhere else. I should have taken it as a sign. But no, we trudged on and even made it on time. McDreamy was shocked.

We went to class. It was a great lesson. Everything was just great! I kept the stain covered and my hairy legs under the chair. Oh thank goodness my toenails were nicely painted.

After class we went to the auditorium. Sat down in our usual pew and began reading the weekly bulletin. McDreamy and I are kind of gawking around looking for friends and noticing visitors, etc. I thought to myself, "I might just pull this off, nobody is going to notice anything."

THEN... there it is...I see it in big bold print. Our names are in the bulletin. But why? What did we do, or not do?

It said that we were to be the "After Worship Greeters." What the heck? (Notice no cussing here!) I wanted to leave right then and there. Forget the worship service, I wanted to bolt! This is an assignment we have not had before.

Maybe here is where I should say how much I hate being in front of people. I don't like speaking in front of people. I am not good at walking up to people I don't know and speaking. Just thinking about doing this makes me sick to my stomach. Oh thank goodness I did not eat breakfast! There are 250+ members of our church and I only know a handful of them. This makes for a lot of people I don't know. (Thank goodness there were a lot of people gone today.)

We are the ones that usually hit the doors running after worship because there is only so much daylight and too many things to do. Then services start again at 5, so we just gotta go. We don't stay and "get to know" everyone like we should. (Lesson #1 - Stay and get to know the church family.)

While all the children are going to Children's Church, I leaned over to a friend and asked about our duties as "After Worship Greeters." She explained that we needed to leave during the last song and situate ourselves at the assigned exit. Then just tell everyone, thank you for coming. Or, if it is a visitor to tell them that we hope to see them again. I am just smiling and nodding on the outside, but in the inside I am shaking like crazy, my stomach is in knots and I can feel my temperature rising.

McDreamy is calm about everything. How could this be?

I fill him in on all the details and try not to think about it again until the last song. It was a great sermon so it wasn't a problem. The song leader goes to front and we all sing. Then he says that after the following song we will have the closing prayer. That was our que. As I leaned down to pick up my bible and purse I told McDreamy that we needed to head out and get ready to do our job. He told me no. NO?!?!?!? I couldn't believe it. I just got all the information from a lady who has done the job before. She knew what she was talking about. We needed to go. So I told him all of that. He still said no.

By this time I am about to freak out. I don't want to do the job anyway, and now we aren't going to be ready. I certainly did not want to let anyone down, and if we were supposed to leave during the last song then we already started off wrong. The last song ended, then came the prayer requests, then the closing prayer. We are still in the pew. I am sweating (not glistening or perspiring, not any of that girly stuff...sweat is rolling) and my stomach is killing me. Everything is over and we are rushing out of the auditorium. I can't even tell you what McDreamy said to me, but I remember telling him how mad I was at him. Then it hit me! Tears were coming to my eyes, my chin was quivering. I was about to start the ugly cry! I ran to the bathroom so no one would see.

There I was, a hideous stain on my shirt, hairy legs and now I am going to look like I have been crying. (Lesson #2: Always check your clothes before you leave, get up early and always shave.) I got myself composed and made it back out to do my job.

The first person I saw was a friend, a good friend, so I was safe. We talked for a bit. While we spoke I watched a lot of people leaving that I was supposed to be seeing out the door. I didn't care. McDreamy was over there doing it. He looked like he hated every bit of it, and looked as uncomfortable as I felt. But he did it and he did it well!

Eventually I made it over to my assigned post. I even spoke to a few people. I was so happy when it was all over. I just wanted to go home. Then...



Blogger Pioneer Woman said...

Ha! This is so funny. I've been caught with less-than-smooth legs on many occasions. And I really hate getting up in front of people, too.

6/06/2006 7:56 AM  
Blogger Julie said...

Later that day McD told me how bad he felt for making me cry. I don't think he has ever done that before. I should have milked it for all it was worth, but by that time I could see the humor in it. It was all just too funny!

6/06/2006 9:41 AM  

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