Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Beware of the SBD!

Okay, I wasn't going to go there. But Pamela is working on a fart post, Willowtree has already posted one, and Ree just doesn't do it!! Really, honest. She said so! Why do we find so much humor in farts? I don't know but I am giggling just thinking about this post!

Several years ago McD and I traveled to Colorado for one of his meetings. I can't remember for sure where it was in Colorado, I think it was Vail. Not that it matters. Anyway, we had been married for quite a few years and we had this big discussion on the way to the meeting about how I hadn't ever farted in front of him. I tried to tell him that I just didn't do it. I think he kind of believed me. giggle. snort. giggle. Silly man!

I hadn't been feeling very well that day. Gut issues. But I hadn't said anything. McD was laying on the bed watching a little television before we had to go down to the reception and dinner. I was getting ready - changing my clothes, fixing my hair, yada yada yada. When I felt it coming on. I clinched my butt checks hoping that it would muffle the sound. lol snort lol It worked!! It was a silent one. Silent But Deadly!! I told McD that he had to come over there so I could show him something. And to hurry! He jumped up off the bed, not realizing what was awaiting him. I can't believe the air didn't turn green from the putrid smell! He got right up to me and it hit him! The smell almost knocked him off his feet!! It was HILARIOUS!!! I almost died laughing!! LOL snort LOL Oh, I am laughing so hard right now as I type this that I am tearing up. Oh. My. Heck. He cursed and cursed again! He could not believe I could produce something that rank!

Okay, I don't really snort when I laugh, but typing it in this post made me laugh even more! LOL


Blogger willowtree said...

God I love a fart story.

btw, you're a mean bitch ;)

8/15/2006 11:04 PM  
Blogger SongBird said...

Evil woman.....

8/15/2006 11:16 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

I didn't realize you'd posted your fart story.. I just posted mine, too.
I have alot of cute stories....Like when my middle child was about 3 and she tooted in the bathtub...
as the bubbles approached the surface she got very excited and said, "loook mommy, swimming stinkers."

8/16/2006 12:05 AM  
Blogger Mrs. Ca said...

That is way too funny. My husband would die if I did that to him. We have been together for going on six years now and we still don't pass gas in front of each other if we can help it. We would probably both die of laughter in that situation though.

8/16/2006 7:38 AM  
Blogger Shauna said...

Well, I guess I'm gonna have to post a fart story. . .LOL - - Think I'll wait and do it when everyone has forgotten all of these! ! ! LOL
Reading this I could hear you snorting as you laughed - snort - actually just picturing you snorting - LOL - ROFLMAO! ! !
I can see McD giving you that look! ! ! LOL

8/16/2006 10:11 AM  
Blogger Silly Hily said...

HA! That's hilarious. It's funny to read about you doing that but not so funny when my husband does the same thing to me. I've figured him out now though and refuse to walk to the green cloud.

8/16/2006 11:01 AM  
Blogger M J said...

Julie ~ remind me to NEVER EVER cross you. You look so sweet and innocent.. who knew that there was pure evil lurking just below the surface! lol...

...I might have to share my fart story now too...

8/16/2006 2:12 PM  
Blogger Karmyn R said...

Well, I told my Mama that I would marry the man that I could fart in front of - and I did. (but he farted first on our 2nd date - so it was all out in the air already!)

8/16/2006 8:59 PM  
Blogger Mocha said...

You are my new hero. Seriously. I love you.

Good fart stories are soooo underrated.

8/16/2006 9:07 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

Came back and read it a 2nd time and laughed harder.

Mostly because of the kick you were getting retelling it.

I think blogger is having some intestinatl disturbance... cause I was on this blog --
and it showed up on a different post.

8/17/2006 1:35 AM  
Blogger Robin said...

I love a gal who can crack herself up. Sometimes I'm the only one in the room who sees the humor...THAT'S something I'm more than happy to live with.

Ok...all these fart stories bouncing around--every freakin' blog I visit has one these days (lol). Get this...I HATE THAT WORD! I mean, I'll let the fbomb drop before that...it's even hard for me to type it! I don't get it (this is one of the many reasons my husband calls me a "complex woman").

My children are privileged, although they don't consider it in that light--THEY (and my dog & cat) are the only ones who know I'm capable of letting one rip. I've been married 19 years and my husband has never heard me; I, on the other hand, had the pleasure early on in our courtship and it's never stopped. Really...truly, if I could change this about myself, I would! I'm not the least bit uptight, but I.cannot.do.this.in.front.of.him. Or anyone else for that matter (except the afore-mentioned kids).

I snorted along with your story, I bow to your prowess.

8/17/2006 10:02 AM  
Blogger Debs said...

That is FUNNY!! :) My sister snorts when she laughs and that gets me going everytime.
I will have to post Robo Cops "gas" joke on my blog. Have you seen the mini film clips of the "farting preacher"? Those can be funny.

8/17/2006 12:10 PM  

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